Choice

John Fox's "Choice" in Men on Men, a short story collection edited by George Stambolian, is one insightful story. Jimmy Arbooz, the main character, is gay, and the story focuses on the tension between him and his mother, Flo Arbooz. Jimmy and Flo do not give in to a messy confrontation at the end, but they are left (as well as the readers) with feelings of alienation and contempt.

Here is the part where Jimmy and Flo are having dinner together. I can see myself in the character because I feel like his experience is my very own, too. So, read on!

Choice
by John Fox
excerpt

They rehashed Barbara's divorce and her now-canceled second marriage plans. She told him about who on the block dropped dead and who got engaged and who's moving to Maryland and who had a second child but shouldn't have because they seem so unhappy. Jimmy inhaled cigarettes deeply and exhaled a lot of smoke expressively while he listened to some of what she said. His mother should know by now that he doesn't want his ear bent with this stuff when they go out, and he often suspects from her flat tone that she no longer cares about neighborhood gossip anyway, but the only aspect of his life either of them feels comfortable discussing with the other is his job, so she often has to hold up his end of the conversation once they've exhausted the details of Barbara's life. He smokes cigarettes in restaurants with her but never at his parents' house nor his sister's. He never addresses her (Mom, Ma, Mommy) when they're in public together. He sees no resemblance between them - he is hawk-faced like his father, she is all mouth and jaw - and he sometimes hopes people think he's a gigolo.

A minute later he had turned her out completely and the following speech was batting against the backs of his teeth: You expect me to have charitable feelings and get all involved in conversations about divorces and cancelled marriages and babies but my life is a total blank to you and Daddy. I've been through worse than her but you don't want to hear about it - the thought of it is too disgusting. I broke up with a man I lived with for four years, twice as long as her marriage, but it's unmentionable, the breakup, the whole relationship. For all I know I could have AIDS. I could be dead in year.